Happy And Healthy Lifestyle

“Standing up for yourself doesn’t make you argumentative. Sharing your feelings doesn’t make you overly sensitive. And saying no doesn’t make you uncaring or selfish. If someone won’t respect your feelings, needs, and boundaries, the problem isn’t you; it’s them.” ~Lori Deschene In Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird , the main character Atticus Finch says, “I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.” What real courage is.  The message Atticus Finch provides is simple yet poignant and so often overlooked in our homes, communities, businesses, and society today. A quick search on Merriam-Webster reveals their definition of courage to be “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.” That definition fully supports the message Atticus Finch has been sharing with

My brother, Marc-Emile, sparkled brilliantly. At sixteen years old, he could expound on physics or Plato, calculus, or car mechanics, Stravinsky or Steppenwolf. At seventeen, he began reading the  Great Books  series, starting with Homer and Aeschylus and moving forward through the Greeks. I don’t know how many of those  Great Books  he read. He didn’t have that long. My brother had everything going for him. He was kind, ethical, and handsome. He graduated high school a year early, at the top of his class, with virtually perfect SATs. He started at MIT as a physics major. He ended at MIT too, one year later. At the age of nineteen, he flung himself to his death from the tallest campus building. Then there was me, Marc’s little sister. Everyone knew me too, but not because I was brilliant. I was exceptional in a less appealing way, having been severely burned in a fire when I was four years old. I barely survived this injury, which left me with no lower lip, no chin, no neck and my u

“Nothing in the world can bother you as much as your own mind, I tell you. In fact, others seem to be bothering you, but it is not others, it is your own mind.” ~ Sri Sri Ravi Shankar Do you ever feel confused about what to do and unsure about how to find clarity? Maybe an unforeseen event, like a layoff or breakup, knocked you into a mental spin. Or perhaps you’re muddling along, with no clue where you’re going. Confusion can leave you helpless, indecisive, and afraid. And not knowing what to do only adds to your mental chaos. I’ve been there, lost, irresolute, and undecided in life. But, amid my mid-life confusion, life-changing trauma blasted all that mental mess aside and made way for a greater worry—leukemia. Yet, surprisingly, cancer guided me toward mental clarity and calm. But don’t despair. You don’t need a tragedy to create inner lucidity. Because here’s the three-step method that I discovered to transform confusion into mental clarity. Slow Down for Mental Clarity Y

“You must first teach a child he is loved. Only then is he ready to learn everything else.” ~Amanda Morgan If I had a nickel for every parent who asked me, “So, if we do (…insert a strategy they have been given…), can we know for sure that he won’t have to deal with (…insert list of problems here …) when he grows up?” Sadly, there are no nickels for hearing the question, nor guarantees to offer anxious parent. In fact, parental anxiety exists largely because life has no guarantees. Nevertheless, the question in itself is worth considering. So let’s look at it. Essentially, every parent wants to know “What should we be doing to guarantee that our child is a ‘successful’ adult who won’t have to experience avoidable pain and suffering?” Let that sink in. Of course, we want to have this reassurance. Of course, we want our children to never have to experience the pain and suffering that we know are possible in life. And, of course, we want to do what we can, proactively, to help th

“Progress is impossible without change.” ~Walt Disney I want you to look in the mirror and tell me what you see. Do you look older? Does your skin have more wrinkles? Do you notice dark circles around your eyes or white hair on your head? You are looking at massive changes from a decade ago. A lot of it you probably don’t like—changes due to your body growing older. Changes that you cannot resist. Now look in the mirror again. Do you notice a more confident person? Someone who is self-assured, optimistic, and happy in life? It happened to me a few weeks back when I was getting ready for an interview. For my preparation, I was talking to myself in the mirror, and as I paused, I had this moment of mindfulness in which all I noticed was my confidence, optimism, and positive energy. This one epiphany completely shifted how I looked at change. That day in the mirror, I saw progress. I saw a shy anxious kid—one who was afraid and bullied— completely flip the script on its head to bec

“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.” ~ Hafiz of Shiraz When we think of illness, we don’t usually equate it with loneliness; however, there seems to be a huge connection between the two conditions. The fact is, when dealing with health challenges, we are most connected to our bodies: we are one with ourselves. Even when we have thoughtful and caring loved ones in our inner circles, these individuals can never truly understand what we’re experiencing on a physical, psychological, and spiritual level. Illness is lonely, but loneliness is not just about being alone; it is a state of mind. Being lonely is about feeling disconnected from those around you, whether from an interpersonal or universal standpoint. Those who are lonely feel empty and drained. For years, I’ve pondered the connection between loneliness and illness. My musings began in 2001 at the age of forty-seven with my first bout of cancer. While raising t

“What I’m looking for is not out there, it is in me.” ~Helen Keller I used to think that life should be easy, and if it wasn’t easy, then I was doing it wrong. I’m older and wiser now, and I’ve learned that if it is hard, that means I am probably doing something right. I had a good childhood. I had a loving family, plenty of opportunity, and I excelled at whatever I put my mind to. But I was a high-anxiety kid, and a relentless perfectionist. As I grew older, that need to have everything flawless impeded my ability to be happy because I didn’t like myself very much. When I got married, I felt like I had added a notch to my self-worth belt. As someone who didn’t have a whole lot of self-esteem or love for herself, when someone else loved me, it was just what I needed to feel validated, or so I thought. But that wore off too. Then, I had kids, which was amazing—I love being a mom. But there was still something missing. I was happy enough, but I didn’t feel alive. There was this li