Happy And Healthy Lifestyle

“To travel is to take a journey into yourself.” ~Danny Kaye The brochure read, “Mermaid tail, optional.” What forty-something mom doesn’t have a shimmering fish tail tucked in her closet for just the right occasion? Not me. I live in Minnesota. I’d borrow one when I got there. I took a flight from Minneapolis to Panama City, and then a water taxi to a backpackers’ resort. Not the kind with frozen cocktails and bad DJs. The next thing I knew, I was on a sailboat, swinging from an aerial circus hoop suspended over the sparkling Caribbean Sea, dressed as a mermaid. I felt free and alive and playful in my body. How did I, a grieving daughter, sister, and mother, end up there? That’s what I was asking myself. It’s both a long and short story. After a few years marked by death and loss, an “aerial and sail” retreat called to me. It would be a gift to my wounded self. That’s the short take. The longer explanation is the most painful, but probably speaks to why so many of us chase adve...

“Don’t wait for your feelings to change to take action. Take action and your feelings will change.” ~Barbara Baron You are stuck because you are waiting to want to do the things you know you need to do to get better. You aren’t doing the things you know you need to do because you don’t want to feel bad, but you already feel bad. You are already doing what you don’t want to do. Why not choose to do something that you don’t want to do that will actually move you forward? If you are waiting to want to do the things that will create change , you will remain stagnant. I was stuck in misery and self-hatred for most of my life. I knew there were things that would help, like diet, exercise, and therapy. I also knew that there were parts of myself that I was afraid to acknowledge or confront. Like how selfish I could be, or how poor my attitude was about almost everything, or how I felt used by men when I too was using them. We all have a shadow side; we all have shame and guilt. We are a...

“You are one decision away from a completely different life.” ~Mel Robbins At twenty-six years old, I lost my dad to suicide . I was heartbroken and so angry. My dad was not the best. Ever since I was little, he would criticize everything I did. I was never good enough for him, and I was a place he discharged his anger through emotional insults. It never stopped, and I was always on high alert around him. Right until the moment he took his life. He could also be loving, kind, funny, and warm, but my nervous system could never relax around him. He was a Jekyll and Hyde. I never knew what behavior would set him off. Then all of a sudden, he was gone. I was angry because he had caused me a lot of pain growing up, and now he had left me. I was angry that I loved this man so much and felt such deep pain without him. It made no sense to me. Surely my life should be better now that his constant abuse was over. But it was just the beginning of my emotional breakdown. Children love t...

“I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect, and I loved you even more.” ~Angelita Lim I’m not a perfect parent. I’m not a perfect partner. I’m not in perfect health. I’m not a perfect friend. And I’m far from perfect with my finances. Hell, nothing about my life is perfect. And guess what? I’ll never be able to attain perfection in those areas. And I’m sorry to say it, but neither will you. Don’t be fooled by calling yourself a perfectionist. Perfection as a destination is what causes procrastination. And for most of us, it’s nothing more than an excuse to avoid putting in the work, because why try if we don’t have the skills to be perfect? Unfortunately, this belief that we can attain perfection is bullshit. It’s an idea adopted from the school system. Grades were meaningless because they had nothing to do with effort. They were a simple way of ticking boxes for the masses. Conversely, a meaningful life comes down to your effort when n...